Recently I was reading a magazine that listed obscure or unusual holidays and National Compliment Day was listed as one of these.  I was immediately intrigued by the idea and wanted to share some information with you.

National Compliment Day was founded in 1998 by Kathy Chamberlin and Debby Hoffman.  They realized that compliments are a simple, yet powerful, relationship building tool.  At Relationship Solutions Center, one of the concerns we hear often is that people do not feel recognized by those around them.  This often leads to feeling unappreciated and can cause resentment and disconnection.

Compliments benefit not only the receiver, but the giver as well.  It feels good to honestly and directly notice another person and to let him or her know how much you appreciate them.  The most effect compliments are specific to the person.  For example, “You make me feel special.  When you turn off all electronics and pay attention to what I am saying, you send the message that I am important to you.”  It is also important to compliment those around us because no matter how long or well you know someone, no one can read your mind!

Sometimes people make the mistake of focusing on a trait or attribute, without making it specific to the person.  For example, “What a great picture!” or “You look pretty.”  When children, and adults as well, receive the message they are valued for a vague trait, they do not learn to recognize and understand the qualities they possess and why they are valuable.  So instead of telling your child “What a great picture.” make sure to add something specific, such as “You chose such vibrant colors.  It makes your picture come alive!”

My challenge to you is to make compliments another part of your daily recommended “diet.”  Just like fruits and vegetables, strive for 5.  Focus on others around you and let them know you notice them.  Give 5 compliments a day and take notice of how you feel and the impact this simple tool has on your relationships.

In honor of National Compliment Day, I also encourage you to subscribe to my blog and share your favorite compliments.  I look forward to hearing all the wonderful compliments that you have received and have given!

Finally, I want to let you know that you are all wonderful people.  When you share a part of yourself with me, you let me know that you trust me, not only to hold your information, but to help you work toward self-improvement.  Thank you!